Diggin' in the Crates

And this is how the story goes!



The dirty carpets
Being told off for going in boxes we shouldn't
Hanging with Scruffy single blokes
Putting Boy George records in other people's piles of tunes
Aching knees, siezed up ankles and bad backs
Just one last look
Missing that last bus and having to walk back swapping the heavy bags from hand to hand
Having to decide which out of the 36 tunes you've picked up has to go back into the quid box
Asking the guy for double bagging
Leaving your bag upstairs
Asking the missus to stay in Habitat for another 30 mins
Trying to keep your tunes between your legs so no one nicks your finds
Trying to stay one box ahead of the other guy
Working from the back as that's where other junkies stash them
Going all wierd as you haven't eaten all day and the blur of tune flicking makes it worse
Resting your tunes on another box to stop the next guy from looking in it
Having some prune start flicking through the box you're flicking through - because you're pilling tunes on the box by the side of you
Spending hours going through soul box after soul box for that elusive Jackson Sisters lp only to see Mica Paris 12s and Fatback lps
Looking in the one pound hip hop box in the hope they fucked up to find out that it's full of Derek B 12S
Actually finding a shop where they have cocked up and were sent loads of B12 and Black Dog whites but didn't know what speed to play em on
Getting records that you were sure they sounded good in 1996 to find out that they started sounding suspect in 1997.
Building up gaps in your Nu Groove collection, even though they only made about six good 12s
"It's got no writing on but a pic of a breaker - must be good"
"This ones Norwegian - must be abstract"
"This one ones in a paper sleeve - oh fuck Basic Channel 2"
Switching sleeves to get all the nicely coloured ones instead of just plain black or paper white
Ahhhh smell the dampness and cat tiddle
Wondering if the guys behind the counter will ever actally get proper jobs
Feeling embarrassed about taking a one pound 12 inch from the bargain box and saying 'yes' when asked; "Do you want a bag for this mate?"
"The rush of blood as you get nearer the shop - only to find out it's

1) Closed.

2) Gone out of business.

3) Only stocks hard house.
Buying tunes with a knowing smile only to get them home to find it's the other mix you wanted -clue, that's why it was cheap.
Spending hours getting down a street as you check every charity shop only to find Jim Davidson and Fleetwood Mac lps in the boxes.
Finding that a dj has actually donated his whole collection to your local Oxfam, who then go and charge £2.99 per 12 inch - er?
Getting lovely 10 inches on obscure labels that actually sound very good.
Playing records on headphones whilst trying to scan what everyone else is buying - it's called tune rubbernecking.
Going shopping with mates and then trying to win the battle of the bargains - it'll all end in tears.
Is it signed ? Ahhh no its someones address